I don’t actually think I’m “going through” something. I’ve finally dealt with growing up and actually acknowledging everything. As “cool” or appealing as it may seem shutting out emotions and natural feelings is the most self destructive and corrosive thing you could do to, those are some of the few things that bring to light your humanity. I’ve spent countless years trying to mask every feeling and emotion because I thought that would make it easier for me or make this road of living less harsh, and while maybe in that immediate moment it may have helped in the long run I’ve never regretted anything more. In the past week or so I’ve felt every hurt, sadness, loneliness and disappointment that I’ve swept under the rug and if a hell exist then it manifested it’s self in this past week. I’ve lost family and close friends alike and really just realized how low and just lost I am. It’s amazing how powerful your mind is because I had myself convinced I was alright and with every ounce of my being I began to believe that, it took being pushed to the brink to notice that I am not alright. But with that said I have me to blame. In noticing and accepting I’m messed up I’ve messed some people up in the process and I can promise I’ll never forgive myself for that. I guess when Heather and Stephanie did what they did to me I decided to say I didn’t care but in the end I harbored onto that and really just passed it on. I actually won’t speak more on that at the moment. Anyways I’m actually just coming to terms that I’m really sad and really alone, and not the sense of I don’t have anyone there to speak to alone more like I know what I’ve done and how I’ve made people feel and I don’t know what to do. I think only the person that went with me knew this but I was offered later next month to go and be in the studio and possibly record with Waka Flocka and I said no and I couldn’t tell you why I also got to play Heathen for some important people but in the middle of the meeting I just walked out and I don’t know why. I took this way farther than it needed to go it’s just I’ve been off of social media for the most part as of lately and when I’m alone I just have so much in my head. So a straight answer is i’m not going through anything I’m just growing up finally. Thank you and I’m sorry.
In the same situation as Itachi.
I turn 21 august 27th 2014. I am 100% sure I will not live to see that day.
This anger has gotten way too bad man like way to bad. I don’t even know how to control it like I don’t know if a person is supposed to feel the heat in their blood but I do and like everything gets hazy like at the moment I’m focusing so hard on this. I’ve been reading so much on anger management and steps to help alleviate stress and like negative energy and maybe I’m being impatient but none of it works. Like I don’t know what to do I’m shaking I have like 9 stitches because of this shit. I need help man I’m sick.